Ask DK...

DK Simoneau often receives questions on how to handle situations.  She addresses readers questions about shared custody, parenting, and split family living situations.  To submit a question, please use the form below.

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July 21, 2014
Living in an RV

Dear DK: Going through a divorce and in the process of getting a condo but it will not be ready for a couple weeks or so. In the mean time i am staying in a friends Rv and My ex mother in law and the father does not want our daughter who is 3 to stay with me there. Would staying in Rv for a couple weeks 3-4 nights a week have an effect on her emotionally?

Dear staying in an RV: I'm sure that moving around is going to be difficult at first no matter where she stays.  BUT, I can say that rather she is in an RV or a condo does not matter.  The main thing is you start establishing some consistency and routines so she knows what to expect each time she comes back to stay with you.  Hope that helps..........

 
dk


July 21, 2014
Transitioning from 50/50

Dear DK: I'm the step mom to a 5 year old girl.  We have had 50/50 custody for 2 1/2 years now and we can all see that the back and forth is really wearing on the child.  It's time to decide where she will live because she will start kindergarten this fall and we aren't quite sure how to make the transition of back and forth every week, to back and forth only every other weekend.  Any tips on how we the parents and she the kid can make this easier on everyone? 

Dear step mom:I would start by talking to her about what she wants.........if she is in agreement that missing one of the parents every other weekend is what she wants then the transition to that might not be so hard.  If she doesn't then I have to say that you will need to evaluate if in fact you should be transitioning to that plan.  Many kids do just fine with the going back and forth.

 
Good Luck!
dk

July 21, 2014
3 year old coping with abuse and divorce

My husband hit my daughter and I had him arrested.  He has a no contact order and I am going to divorce him.  I don't know how to explain to her that daddy isn't around.  So far I have been telling her that he is at work.  He is telling me that if I divorce him, he won't be a part time dad, but I am still divorcing him.  I am concerned about how to let my child know that daddy is gone, but at the same time am hoping that this is just a tactic and once he sees I am not changing my mind he will still spend time with my girls.  After that extensive background my question is, What do I say, how do I say it so that she doesn't blame herself or hate him?

Dear coping: She is 3?  I would just explain that Daddy is having some trouble right now and he had to go away to see if he can get it worked out, but that he loves her and hopefully will be back to spend time with her soon.  Keep explaining that he loves her and he's trying his best to be back soon.  And then......hopefully  he will!

 
Hope that helps.



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