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February 11, 2015
The First Night

I recently came across the MOST WONDERFUL Article about being a brand new shared custody family.  It will be helpful to those just embarking on this new way of living.  It will serve as a reminder of how we should be if we are already coping.  It was shared by the mom in what appears to be a friendly divorce.  I so enjoyed this article. I have written numerous articles trying to help people cope with this new arrangement.  And here this woman shares her feelings in the raw, in the New York Times.  Good for her for doing the right things.  AMAZING for her to share it with all of us!

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 Read it!! NY Times Article Here (illustration by Spencer Wilson)

It reminds me of so many things that I try to teach people. We had a 4 day 3 day split. It isn't easy. It isn't easy for you, your ex, and not your children. What I say over and over to people who solicit advice is that you must absolutely put the kids first. The time for being upset with your ex is over. That is why you are divorced. I commend her for (at least this first time) not intruding on her son's and his Dad's time in the park. It was so good for them to have that first weekend. I also commend her for taking care of her, and sneaking a peek at the park so she could put her mind at ease. In the long run, I came to really enjoy my "me" time. I really believe it made me an even better Mom, as I was always refreshed and energized and ready to focus. And as far as your son goes, you guys are starting off on the right foot. Your son never ever ever wants to feel like it is wrong to love either of his parents. They didn't choose this new way of life.  They didn't choose that they have to go back and forth and bounce between homes.  And they certainly don't want to have to choose one parent over another.  This woman was brilliant in her handling of this situation.  And we could all take a page from her book.




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